On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
