dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
well you can't waste a boner
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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