just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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