At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
