ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize