these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i already hear my dad disowning me
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize