Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
