you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
