I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
