Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
