I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
