omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
