he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize