I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Randomize
