you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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