she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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