Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
