dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
