i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
