Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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