i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
