he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
