quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
