If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
