How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
