I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
