it's too hot outside to masturbate.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Randomize
