Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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