What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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