i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
