Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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