She just used a chaser for red wine.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
