I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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