I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
MIDGETS
????
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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