Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
