Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
