I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
