Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
