new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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