Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
