hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
