so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
