I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
