this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
