What a fucking waste of an outfit
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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