the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
birth control should be required to get into college
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
