Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
