fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
