How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
