Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
