Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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