dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
