google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
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