I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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