Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
