Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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