i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
