No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
