My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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