Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
it's great music for shaving your balls
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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