it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
