Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
