wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm sobbing to NWA
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
