Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
