Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
